Sunday, December 18, 2011

love was born

Oh my! I cannot believe how busy this time of year gets! It seems like there is always an event, a party, a dinner, a church service, another gift to buy.... This month is so FULL! That is part of why my blog has been more quiet than usual.

One reason in particular that I've been so busy, that I haven't mentioned on here before, is that my family and I participated in a combined church Christmas Cantata. A few of us Lutherans joined with the Methodists and spent weeks practicing "There is a Rose." When my parents first asked if my sister and I would like to join we both said no, but then I was asked again by our organist and was compelled to accept. Ashlee wanted to know what I signed her up for when we attended the first practice last month and were given over 70 pages of music and a cd with 30 minutes of music. I was wondering the same thing myself. I was a little nervous.

It's one of those weird things about me. I love to sing, but I don't call myself a singer. Most of the time I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I think God has definitely pushed me out of my comfort zones when it comes to music. In August my family was asked/called to lead the worship team for our church's new second service. Um. Hello. God. Me? Not. A. Singer. So I've just been obeying. God asked me to help lead/start the worship team. So I have. God asked me to join the Christmas Cantata. So I did. Not only have a learned so much from doing both, but I've met some amazing people and have been so blessed through these opportunities.

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Everytime I would go to Cantata practice nervous or dragging my feet and everytime I would leave filled up and joyful. Last night was the Cantata. It. Was. Awesome. I was anxious, even after all the practices to walk into a packed church and stand on the risers in front of everyone because sharing my voice is such an intimate and vulnerable experience for me. As I stood there I said a prayer, threw away my doubts and sang out. It felt incredible. There is nothing like singing for Jesus. I know I wasn't perfect, but I'm so proud of myself for facing my fears and doing it anyway.

Participating in our churches worship team has been good for that too. We are still learning. There are Sundays where we mess up, but we move forward because we have to. Sometimes it's embarassing, but I keep going because God has asked me to. And there is always another Sunday coming up to prepare for. This has been a challenging lesson in obedience, but I know that I am growing because of it.

Speaking of growing musically, do those of you readers who are musically inclined or worship leaders have advice for someone like me, who loves music, but doesn't necessarily have much knowledge or experience?

I'm trying to convince my family that I need (and that we have room for) a piano that our church is going to get rid of. Hello! Free. Piano. I think they are getting tired of me "casually" bringing it up in conversation. For example, "Oh look! We just cleaned out that bedroom. A piano would fit perfectly." Wink. Wink.

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