Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Commandment #5: Don't Make Comparisons

This one ties in a lot with my first commandment to Be Heather. I find it too easy to "examine" other people's lives and think that what I have and who I am is not enough because I don't have the same gifts/talents/possessions/blog/job/body that someone else does. Somehow I wind up thinking that I'm not good enough if I can't do exactly what someone else can do. This is precisely why I don't like talent shows. I always leave feeling like a big, stupid loser.

From that conclusion I'm thrown into a spiral of self-doubt, negative self-talk, all which causes me to question my self-worth. Obviously they are SO MUCH BETTER than I am and their life is PERFECT and I'm just a HOT MESS. Ugh. That is sad, huh? I hate when I do that because I just end up feeling utterly miserable. And really, who wants to be around someone who is constantly doubting themselves and doesn't have confidence in who they are? I don't. It's exhausting.

And vise versa I need to stop the self-righteous talk; it is also easy to "examine" someone else and think that you are SO MUCH BETTER than them because you are not doing such and such like they are. Comparison is a vicious cycle that never ends well.

I am working on loving myself for who I AM. When I start comparing myself with someone else I try to remind myself that God has uniquely created you to be you and me to be me. It is okay if I can't do exactly what you do, because God created me for something else. When I really think about it I bet God is really ashamed of me when I try to compare myself to others. He created ME. How hurtful it must be when I complain about how He made me. I try to recognize my negative self-talk, then tell myself what I like about being me and thank God for making me.

1. I like my creative side.
2. I like that I am a compassionate person.
3. I like my sense of style and fashion.
4. I like the value I place on relationships and my family.
5. I like that I can laugh easily.

What are 5 things you love about yourself?


  1. Hi, Heather. Long time lurker here but I just had to reply to this series of posts. I can't say the extent to which I felt that I was the one writing these 'commandments'. I felt like I had written them and then had amnesia. Just wanted to tell you that I'm going through the same exact things. Each and every single one of them. Comparing myself with others is a major one.
    Just wanted to thank you for putting this out there. I love reading your thoughts about it. Another thing you may try that makes my days soo different is to choose to be happy and have a good day no matter what each day. Trust me, it works though at first it may seem hard.
    Thank you again and sorry for the long comment. God Bless!

  2. Thanks for sharing Isabella! It's so nice to know that I'm not alone in these feelings. Today I'm going to do exactly what you suggested. Things are insane at work, but I am making the choice to be happy.

  3. This is a great post. It's so inspiring to see someone who has such great insight on important issues like this. It's so hard not to compare yourself with other people. Thanks for encouraging your readers to be happy with being themselves. So great!

    I'm a new follower, btw.
    Check out my blog too!:)