Saturday, July 10, 2010

waiting and wondering

I have been feeling out of sorts lately. My 25th birthday is coming up soon and I can't help but think about my life, where I've been, where I am and where I'm going. Maybe I'm having a quarter life crisis or something.

I'm an expert in realizing that life never goes how you plan. I also know that sometimes that is a good thing. Right now I'm just not very happy with things as they are.

I am grateful to my parents for letting me live with them, but I don't really want to be that unemployed 25 year old living at home. I guess it doesn't have to be a negative thing, but I'm sure feeling lost. What kind of career do I want? Is my DCE stint over? Forever? Do I want it to be?

I feel like I have no passion for anything. I feel stagnant. I feel like I don't know what I want anymore. I feel lost. I don't know what to do.

I know God has a plan for my life, but right now its hard to see.

I don't want this to be a completely downer post. I'm just trying to sort through my feelings and find perspective.

I have this metaphor about life. My life is like a path in a dark forest. It is difficult to know where to go because of the overwhelming darkness. The way to stay on the path is to follow the only light (God and His will). Unfortunately God doesn't light up the entire path all at once. The light shines only on the next step. For years I have been following that light and taking small steps, always seeking God's will. The future has never been completely clear, but God always provides for me as I follow Him.

So maybe I do feel lost right now, but I guess I'm supposed to be here. I don't want this time to be wasted. I want to learn and grow through this. I'll keep praying and continue to take small steps as God directs me. If I've learned anything, I should plan to be surprised because as I said before, life never goes as you plan.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

source: weheartit

‎"Your future is whatever you make it." Jillian Michaels

source: kurt halsey

"Sometimes when you think you're more lost then ever, you turn around and you're exactly where you're supposed to be." Benji Madden

source: weheartit

‎"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." Marilyn Monroe

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