Saturday, May 23, 2009

my new motto

found on

Monday, May 18, 2009

lord, bless me and bless me a lot

Good afternoon blog readers.  I officially have less than two weeks of my internship left.  Wow.  I am reminded of my countdown to find out my internship site last year.  Time has flown.  I am currently trying to remember and claim God's promises about His faithfulness, provision, peace and love.  I have no doubts that by June 1 I will have a new job.  I say that in full trust that God will open the right doors for me.

In the mean time, between re-writing cover letters and my resume, I have been enjoying my roommates and our wonderful adventures.  Last weekend, over Mother's Day, Jenny's parents came for a visit.  We crammed as much as we could in.  From a hike along the Pacific Crest Trail to a day in Disneyland; it was a great weekend!  Then Friday, Jessie, Jenny, Ashlee and I went back to Disneyland for the evening, going on the Toy Story ride and more.  I feel so blessed to live where I do.  I definitely don't want to be here forever, but to be able to go to the beach or randomly decide to go to Disneyland on a Sunday afternoon, is so fun!

I am looking forward to this new chapter in my life.  All the unknown is quite frightening, but also exhilarating.  

This summer is going to be one for the record books.
Janelle visits
Home for Jennifer and Shawn's wedding.  
Trip to Palm Springs with the roomies and our rockstar buddy, Matt
Mine and Ashlee's 24th birthday
Trip to Vegas with my soul mates

There is so much to look forward to!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


In less than four weeks my internship will be over. OVER. I have been hearing from other interns about who is staying and who is leaving and what is next. I want to respond, but have refrained. I don't know what I would tell them. No, I'm not staying. No, I haven't received a call. No, I don't know where I will be working. No, I don't know what I will be doing. No, I don't know what is next. That would make for a great response.

Here is the thing, my file was sent out to four churches. I haven't heard from a single one and honestly I do not want to move to any of those places, at least not now. Churches here, where I am and want to stay for another year, are not calling people. So do I just defer my call (meaning my papers aren't sent out) for awhile? But what do I do in the mean time? Am I supposed to be in ministry? If I don't receive a call right away does it mean I'm not supposed to be in ministry? Do I add up all the school tuition and study as a short-lived learning experience and time of growth? Do I turn around and head in a different direction?

I am terrified of not knowing. These past months I have been in a holding pattern, waiting for a revelation of what is next. It is coming down to the wire and I am still at a loss. I am at the point where I am applying for retail positions in shops around town, because right now a job is a job is a job. I feel like I am going backwards.

I know that my life and future are in God's hands. I know. And I do trust that God has a plan for me, but right now I need a little hope and encouragement because remembering that is hard.