Friday, March 27, 2009

by your side

Last night I went with my girlies, Ashlee, Jenny and Kianna, to the Rock and Worship Roadshow. Addison Road, Tenth Avenue North, Hawk Nelson, Jeremy Camp and MercyMe played. It was incredible. During the show I had an ongoing talk with God about my worries and my future. God answered me back when Tenth Avenue North sang the song posted below, and when the lead singer of MercyMe spoke directly to the Youth Ministers/Pastors in the audience. He straight up said, "God has called you to this."

I am completely unsure of what is next for me after my internship is over. And my internship is coming to an end very quickly. I have been praying constantly for discernment and wisdom for what is next. I want answers and all I seem to hear is silence, but last night I realized God has been reassuring me that He has called me into ministry and right now He is calling me to trust Him with what is next. Through an unexpected email from a church lady back home, through my friends and family, God is speaking to me. It has been difficult for me to hear because I am terrified that my desires won't make God's will for my life and that I will be called somewhere I don't want to go, to do something I don't want to do. I know how silly that is. So now my prayer is that my desires align with God's will for my life.

"Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey."

"I do not know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future."

"by your side" lyrics by tenth avenue north

why are you striving these days
why are you trying to earn grace
why are you crying
let me lift up your face
just don't turn away

why are you looking for love
why are you still searching as if i'm not enough
to where will you go child
tell me where will you run
to where will you run

and i'll be by your side
wherever you fall
in the dead of night
whenever you call
and please don't fight
these hands that are holding you
my hands are holding you

look at these hands and my side
they swallowed the grave on that night
when i drank the world's sin
so i could carry you in
and give you life
i want to give you life

cause i, i love you
i want you to know
that i, i love you
i'll never let you go