Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
I am warning you, this is a LONG post, but I had a great time last night and didn't want to forget a single part of it.
Yesterday afternoon Jenny, Jessie and I took the train to Union Station where we met Ashlee waiting outside to drive us over to West Hollywood. After a short drive we were cruising down Sunset, pointing out sketchy motels and exquisite shopping. A parking spot was found near the Viper Room where we would later be spending our evening. We arrived hours ahead of time because it made the most sense when thinking about travel time and traffic.
After we parked we all exchanged our flats for heels and began search for food. As we were walking by the Viper Room we ran into Chris, Brian and Rhett unloading their van for the show. After hugs and introductions we left the guys to unload and we kept on in our search for a so-called “Sexy Mexican restaurant.” Little did I know that wasn’t the actual name of it, rather it was called Isla and it was another block away. We were some of the only customers in there for a while, but it was a fun atmosphere, decent food and crazy conversation. There is where we decided our new catch phrase is “like a rocket on Monday.” Don’t ask how we came up with it or the context in which we were talking because none of us can remember.
After our meal and each of us checking out the cool bathroom we continued our walk down Sunset. There were so many restaurant and cool shops, as well as so many guys in cars staring, one with his mouth open, or honking as we made our way down the street. Maybe I should be a little more self confident, but mostly it felt awkward. After more walking, eyeing beautiful clothes in store and sore feet we found a Peet’s Coffee back near the Viper Room. We bought freddos, not frappucinos and talked and laughed about life. Peet’s closed at 8:00 and kicked us out. So with nothing really to do until the Viper Room doors opened at 8:30 we went and were the first ones in line. Dorky? Yes, but so worth it.
While we were sitting/standing by the back door a super sleek and hot black car parallel parked in front of us. A very cute, red headed woman stepped out of the car. We all noticed how adorable she was and then noticed how much she looked like Amy Adams…no, that she was Amy Adams. For those of you who don’t know, she is the woman who played Giselle in Enchanted and Katy on the Office and Susan in Talladega Nights. She looks around at the parking meters and searches for coins while the four of us debate whether we should talk to her or ask her for a picture or do nothing at all. We decide that since she is obviously trying to have a normal night on the town maybe a picture would not be the best, but we really couldn’t not say something. So as she was walking away all I could say was, “Hi.” Yes, lame I know, but she said, “Hi,” back to us all. After she walked around the corner I freaked out a bit (hahaha), sent texts to a few people and then Ashlee took a picture of us in front of her car.
Another fifteen minutes or so later we were let into the Viper Room. It was kind of awkward being the first ones there, but the waitress came soon and brought us drinks while we waiting another thirty minutes for the first band to play. The first band was good; we spent a good amount of the time they were on laughing at the girls that were trying to dance to the music. I know I shouldn’t make fun because I probably just as stupid once Barcelona came on.
Barcelona’s set was next and we were all so excited. It was so good to see familiar faces and the thought of listening to them play put a smile on my face that did not come off the rest of the night. Barcelona was amazing, I would even go as far to say that they kicked ass (excuse my language). I don’t even know how to put in words how great it was to hear them play or what a wonderful job they did. By then the place was packed, everyone was moving to the music and those who knew the words were singing along. From Lesser Thing, First Floor People to Colors to It’s About Time to One, I was in heaven the whole time they were on. Well, and after too.
We hung around inside for about ten minutes after they finished playing, giving them time to get all their stuff outside. Then we make our way out into the ‘refreshing’ LA air. We hang back for a while waiting for the masses to disperse from the rock stars; we finally make our way over to the guys for sweaty hugs and hellos. Then we find a storefront ledge to perch on and rest our feet while the guys load up.
Little did we know we would shortly be making a new friend. Hahaha. To make a longer story short, we met a guy named Brian randomly who totally cracked us up. He told funny stories about his great grandfather who was in a circus, his ballerina ex-friend and even told us that his jacket was a woman’s jacket. Ashlee then proceeded to tell him about the boob darts of his jacket. We were all cracking up. Then, to make the evening even crazier, we ran into two other SPU alumni. Ashlee exchanged numbers with Clark and I talked with Kate who actually grew up in Idaho too.
Next it was small talk with Rhett, who shared with us their adventure of being banned from Canada, then with Chris, who told us about his crazy schedule. From there the girls went back to the Viper Room with Rhett and I went to the Cigar shop we were outside of with Chris. He told me crazy stories of their adventures touring. Wow.
Then the some of the girls dragged me back in for my drink and dancing with the guys. So funny. The last band was playing and we were sending out our vibe, dancing like there was no tomorrow. After the band finished we made our way to the center of the room to cure our dancing fever. Chris had disappeared somewhere, but Ashlee, Jenny, Jessie, Rhett, Brian and I were having blast.
By this time it was probably after one in the morning. As much as we didn’t want to go I knew I would be a tired girl in the morning. I whispered/yelled to Brian and Rhett that we would love to get a picture with them outside and say our goodbyes because we had to get going. Back outside we found some random person to take our picture. Unfortunately, some random girl that knew the guys decided she wanted to be in our picture too. Weird, right?
After some long hugs and goodbyes, Jessie, Ashlee, Jenny and I took off down the street, still dancing and sending out our vibe. As we drove out of Hollywood, with the windows down and the music blaring, we were all content with our wonderful Hollywood adventure. Despite the fact we did not get home until around 2:30 a.m. it was still, like a rocket on Monday. J
Friday, July 18, 2008
A quote from Marcel Proust: "We are not provided with wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness, which no one can take for us, an effort which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world."
Everything is slowed down here. This relaxed, lacksadaisical approach to life just takes everything down a notch on the stress meter. It's not so important what you do, especially what you do for a living. It's just important that you be. Be in the moment, be who you are, be consistent in your rituals and habits instead of always chasing the trendy and new.
Monday, July 7, 2008
I had really started to get past this once you left in July. The first week was definitely a struggle. But then I went to Boston and was doing fun things, so my mind started to be occupied. And by the time you came back from S. America and I spoke with you on the phone, I felt like I had gotten over you and you were just my very good friend, nothing more. And then I saw you again. And everything that was there came rushing back.
As Sara said last night, not only is it difficult for me to handle change, I especially have difficulty going from “more to less”: I had this very-close-to-ideal living situation, and now I suddenly don’t. In addition to that, it’s sometimes hard for me to see the forest for the trees—I have much to focus on right now, and I now have the perfect opportunity to care for and tend to myself and my responsibilities and the things I want to do since I no longer have someone around whose well-being I sometimes considered before my own. But all I can see right now is the absence of you.
I also have trouble with the notion that I need to get over this. That just kills me. I don’t understand why I should have to get over you. I keep telling myself that I have to and forcing myself to make it happen, but that just doesn’t seem fair to me. I’ve spent the past few years of “growing up” realizing that I have to be much more guarded when it comes to men. I too easily allow myself to become emotionally open to men and start to care about them, some more than they have deserve. So I’ve really come to be much more selective. And here I found someone who is completely deserving of everything I have to offer, and we still can’t be together. And I know that. Definitely not now, probably not in the future either. But how is that right? What learning am I to take away from this? Yes, I have a wonderful friend whom I look up to and from whom I have already learned so much. But I still don’t know how to guard myself against this happening in the future. How can I start to emotionally guard myself from someone who seems so perfect for me?
I really do understand that nothing can be done with this on your part, and I don’t really expect you to make it better or to respond in any certain way. It’s probably almost better if you didn’t. I just had to get it out. Please know that I certainly don’t feel in any way hurt by you—you clearly have never hurt me. And I suspect that after reading this, you’re probably inclined to want to fix it or make it better, which is a perfect example of what it is about you that I love so much. But I know it can’t be fixed. It’s just something with which I have to deal.