Wednesday, September 17, 2008

feeling reflective

Through numerous events in this past year, well even before this year, I have been reminded of how fragile life is.  I have been separated from many of the people I love while I have been living in California.  Two important people in my life were diagnosed with cancer and have fought like hell.  One of my friends fell over 100 ft and is alive to tell about it.  Natural disasters have destroyed homes and lives.  And these are only the things that I can remember right now.

Often I worry that my emotions are too much.  That if I share them with the people I care about then I will be stereotyped as an overly emotional girl.  The problem with me is that I feel things so deeply.  Even when people I don’t know are experiencing hardship and tragedy my heart breaks for them.  Maybe that does make me an overly emotional girl.  Or maybe I am just empathetic.

I think it’s true that often the things we regret in life are the things we don’t do.  So I just want to say, my dear family, my dear friends, thank you for sharing your lives with me.  I love you all so much.  Those words seem so trivial when I write them, but they are filled with so much more than I can verbalize.  I read a girl’s blog today and about her friends she said, “These people have changed and have changed me, and it’s hard to recognize because I am woven in them and they are woven in me.”  The same is true of you.  You have helped to shape my life and I am better because of you.

Following is something I got from Jessica’s blog.  Things you want to say to people, but never could.  Don’t say their name and never mention it again. 

1. Thank you for your sacrifices for me.  You always are there for me with support and advice.  I would be utterly lost without your guidance and wisdom.

2. You are the best friend a girl could have.  I love your passion and the flair and style you bring to my life.  I am so proud of you and how hard you work.  Thanks for always being there for me.

3. I miss you more than you know.  You are doing such great things with your life.  How lucky to have you by my side during that time of growth in my life.

4. Damn girl.  You are so fun.  I am so blessed to have you in my life.  I love your quirkiness, sense of humor and love of shoes.

5. I am so proud of you and how you’ve grown and changed in these last few years.  I hope you keep it up because you have so much potential.  I pray your life is filled with more blessings than you can count.

6. I had so much fun with you.  You were one of my best friends and you meant so much to me.  You still do.  I am sad that it had to end, but I know that it as clich√© as it is, it was for the best.  You have made me better.  I wish we still talked.

7. I care about you so much and think you deserve the absolute best in life.  You were there when no one else was.  I wish that you saw me differently.  I think you have some growing to do.  I know God has big things planned for your life.  I hope I am part of it.

8. Even though you are younger than me I look up to you.  I have always been a little jealous of your life, looks, attitude and outlook on life.  It seems like you have everything I want, but I couldn’t be happier for you.

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