Today I was hit with the realization of the changes that are taking place in my life. That may sound like a dumb statement. Yes, I have been thoroughly aware that big changes are/will be occurring in my life, but today made it real.
As I was sitting in church this morning I began to think about the next time I would be back and it struck me that I don't know when I will be home again, to go to church, to see my family and friends.
I don't know when I will be back again. I hate that statement.
I about wanted to break down in tears as I talked with people after the service. Everyone is so excited for me; they said they are so proud of me, that I will do a great job and that my church will love me. Pastor even prayed for me during the service. I don't want to leave those people....not that I have been around a lot this year, but I don't know when I will see most of them again. I was saying goodbye to Katie and had to tell her that I might not see her until next year, same with Joan and Christi.
I know God has placed me at St. Luke Lutheran in Claremont because it is where I am supposed to be. I know God is going to be with me every step of the way. I know that I will not be alone. I know all that. But I am still scared. I don't want to let this go. To let home go. To let people and relationships go.
I guess that is just the way life goes though. Change after change. I don't know how I feel about this growing up thing, but I am thankful that it is God's hand guiding me.