Wednesday, October 31, 2007

putting off homework

today has been one of those blah days. you know the kind, where you just don't quite feel like yourself and you have absolutely no energy to do anything at all. well maybe you don't, but that is how my day has been.

i think life has just been a little off lately. since midterm break i've had such a hard time getting back into things. i feel sort of paralyzed.

recently i've been faced with how bizarre, scary, fun, short and long life can be.
i just don't understand it.
sickness. desparation. drugs. death. brokenness. love. loss.

why does my dear justin have cancer? why do idiots purposefully start fires? why would someone turn to drugs? why are some lives longer than others? why does love hurt so much? why do relationships end?

i like to think these things are proof that there has to be more than this life.
this seriously cannot be all there is.
it makes me ache for those who do not know jesus.

ultimately, i have no answers for these questions, but i do know that in all the chaos of this world, one thing remains constant and that is the unchanging, powerful, loving, compassionate god of mine. yes life hurts and we do not always understand it, but god is here and god is bigger than this sometimes painful world and i like to think that there is always a silver-lining.

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